147 Just Giovanna: Have it All by Doing More of What You Love, Not Less

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New Year’s resolutions keep people playing small and operating from a place of lack instead of abundance. Join me for a “Just Giovanna” episode of the Well Woman Show where we explore how you can have it all without making New Year’s resolutions!

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

  • my secret to quitting coffee four years ago
  • why I don’t like New Year’s resolutions
  • how women, in particular, are socialized not to seek pleasure, fulfillment and self-actualization

When I quit coffee four and a half years ago, it wasn’t because I wanted to quit coffee. I was committed to making room for a new level of health in my body and decided a 21 day cleanse was my roadmap. I knew I could drop coffee for three weeks and had no intention of giving it up altogether. After all, I identified as a coffee drinker. I loved everything about it – the ritual, the smell, the coffee shop and the sipping in meetings. So it came as a surprise to me when, after ten days of no coffee, my mind was clear and my focus sharp. There was no need to go back to coffee because I now had something even more satisfying.

Every year at this time, millions of people are setting intentions to change undesired behaviors, accomplish personal goals or otherwise improve our lives. Yet every year, usually sometime in January or February, we default to our usual patterns and give up on those illusive goals. What if you could have it all? What if you could reach your personal, professional and public service goals and avoid that horrible feeling of failure because you didn’t manage to keep your New Year’s resolutions? When I realized that doing well on my personal goals supported me to reach my professional and public service goals, and vice versa, I stopped the empty promises at year’s end and started dreaming big all throughout the year. I asked, what can I create for my life? (Instead of how can I stop doing certain things?)

For many people, rejecting or shedding the expectations of others is a real challenge. It takes a lot to undo the years of build up that society, our families or our colleagues have been piling on us. All the “shoulds” stacked up on top of each other can build a wall so tall you can no longer see over it. And chipping away at that wall is hard work. I should play piano, I should go to law school, I should know how to cook, I should have kids someday, I should, I should, I should. New Year’s Resolutions can keep people playing small and operating from a place of deficit instead of plenty. Women, in particular, are socialized not to seek pleasure, fulfillment and self-actualization. So our internal dialogue is one of lack, shame and isolation. Many of us inherently know this but are not sure what to do about it. And this is reflected externally, in the programs, policies and services currently available that do not address women’s specific needs. It is time for us to reclaim our pleasure, our joy and our purpose.

When you have a clear vision of what want your life to look like and feel like, there is no room for the undesirable behaviors the usual New Year’s resolutions inadequately address. When you identify with the life you dream of, there is no room for activities that don’t align with it. Here are four things you can do right away to bring awareness to the life you dream of, find the inner wisdom that connects you to that identity, articulate your dreams and integrate them into your life:

  1. Create Awareness
    Resolve to make no more empty promises that keep you stuck in scarcity instead of abundance. Reflect on and jot down (writing it or saying it aloud is important) what has brought you joy in the last year and what has not? What made you feel fulfilled? When did you reach your full potential in some area of your life, or close to it? What would you like to create for yourself in the coming year?
  2. Listen
    Reflect on what came up in step one and begin to release self-criticism in order to invite self-compassion. Then, create an openness to hear what is next for you by saying, “I am open to receive what is next – show me.” Hear the answers while you do your favorite meditative activity, e.g. walk, cook, exercise or meditate. In order to make the time to do this activity you may need to set some boundaries, by gratefully saying no to others’ requests.
  3. Take Action
    Articulate your dreams in three areas: personal, professional and public service. Position your goals as positives, not negatives, e.g. instead of resolving to stop binging on television shows at night, say you will read a book every week. What 1-3 things could you do on a regular basis that would make a big impact on each goal?
  4. Integrate
    Integrate your plans into your daily life by being realistic about what is doable and what will be manageable. Practicing self-care and gratitude, as well as having compassion for others and yourself will go a long way to helping you maintain your action plan. Part of integration is accountability – tell someone what your plans are and have them do the same. Then, check in daily or weekly to keep each other on track. And instead of pressuring yourself to do all of this on the first of the year, give yourself permission to explore these ideas during the whole month of January, starting your action and integration plan in February.

So, what worked for me about quitting coffee?

It wasn’t a New Year’s resolution.

It wasn’t a quit for the sake of it.

It was tied to something bigger; my health and well-being.

I was able to change my identity as a coffee drinker.

Instead of resolving to quit something “bad” in the New Year, try resolving to gift yourself pleasure, comfort and fun.

For more on goal setting and the Well Woman Transformation Framework™, check out www.wellwomanlife.com/147show.

To support the show and get cool stuff go to patreon.com/thewellwomanshow.

146 Being a Seeker with Laurie Gerber

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On the show today, I interview Laurie Gerber, who has been coaching individuals and groups for over 15 years. As Head Coach at Handel Group® Life Coaching, Laurie teaches people to tell the truth and pursue their dreams through live events, one-on-one coaching, online coaching courses, as a writer, on radio, and in frequent TV appearances on MTV, A&E, Dr. Phil Show, and the TODAY show. Learn more at handelgroup.com and visit HGLifeCoaching on Facebook.

What You’ll learn on This Episode:

How to start your dream and be the author of your life
How to prioritize career AND love
How to overcome “weather reporting” (hint: stop believing what you think!)

From Laurie:
Talk to a human and see if Handel Group coaching options are right for you: http://bit.ly/WWCONSULT

Find out which areas of life you may need to work on with the free coaching tool from Lauren Zander and Handel Group, The Current Reality Quiz. It’s an easy (and fun!) way to self assess: http://bit.ly/CRQWWS Inner.U is the digital coaching course from Lauren Zander and Handel Group – 14+ hours of audio coaching, 50+ written assignments, community chat, and much more. Use code WELLWOMAN75 for $75 off a subscription level at checkout! InnerU.Coach

On the web: HGLife.Coach
Instagram: @handelgroup
Facebook: @HGLifeCoaching

145: Being a CEO with Pat Vincent-Collawn

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I talk to Pat Vincent-Collawn, Chairman, President and CEO of PNM Resources, the parent company for utilities PNM in New Mexico and TNMP in Texas. We talk about renewable energy, diversity and inclusion, workplace culture and flexibility, internal and external validation and imposter syndrome.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

What makes a good manager and leader
What extra steps you have to take in order to be successful
How to know when to “go for it”

 

Pat Vincent-Collawn is Chairman, President and CEO of PNM Resources, the parent company for utilities PNM in New Mexico and TNMP in Texas.

Vincent-Collawn joined PNM Resources in 2007, as Utilities President. In 2008, she was named President and Chief Operating Officer, and in March 2010 became President and CEO of PNM Resources. The Board elected her Chairman in January 2012.

Prior to PNM Resources, Vincent-Collawn was at Xcel Energy where she was President and CEO of Public Service Company of Colorado. Previous to that, as Xcel’s President of Customer and Field Operations, she oversaw transmission and distribution operations as well as customer service across 10 states. Vincent-Collawn also held management positions with Arizona Public Service, and outside the energy industry with Price Waterhouse and Quaker Oats.

On a national level, Vincent-Collawn is the immediate past Chair of the Edison Electric Institute, the trade association that represents more than two hundred US investor-owned electric companies, as well as more than 60 international electricity providers.

Vincent-Collawn also serves on the boards of EPRI (Electric Research Power Institute) where she is a former Chair, NEIL (Nuclear Electric Insurance Limited), and CTS Corporation (NYSE:CTS). She is a former member of the Economic Advisory Council for the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City.

Vincent-Collawn was appointed Chair of the New Mexico Partnership by Governor Susana Martinez in 2015. She is incoming Chair of the Greater Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce, and past Chair of both the United Way of Central New Mexico and the Kirtland Partnership Committee.

She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism (magna cum laude) from Drake University and an MBA from the Harvard Business School.

144 Surviving the D**k Clique with Holly Caplan

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Holly Caplan is a career coach, women-in-business advocate, award-winning manager and author of Surviving the D**k Clique: A Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Male Dominated Corporate World. For more information, please visit, www.hollycaplan.com.

What you’ll learn on this episode:

How you reinvent yourself when you’re ready for a re-do
What to do when you feel resistance in your job every day and you are not fully engaged
How to take more risks

Book: Ugly Love

Social Media:
– Twitter: https://twitter.com/hollymcaplan
– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dickclique/

143 What’s Next with Laila Ali

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Laila Ali is a world-class athlete, fitness and wellness expert, TV host, cooking enthusiast, founder
of the Laila Ali Lifestyle Brand, and mother of two. The youngest daughter of late boxing icon Muhammad Ali, she is a two-time hall of famer and four-time undefeated boxing world champion, whose record includes 24 wins (21 of which were “knockouts”) and zero losses. Laila is heralded as the most successful female in the history of women’s boxing. In 2012 when women’s boxing was included in the Olympics for the first time in history, Laila was the first woman in history to provide expert commentary for NBC Sports.

This week on the show, Laila Ali and I talk about her life as a boxer, author and lifestyle expert as well as her perspective on the pros and cons of being Mohammad Ali’s daughter. She also share about her latest project with the What’s Next Sweepstakes.

Astellas Pharma US, Inc., announced the launch of the “What’s Next Sweepstakes,” sponsored by Myrbetriq®. Fans ages 18 and older can enter for a chance to win a trip for two to Los Angeles to attend a spring 2019 taping of ABC’s hit show “Dancing with the Stars” (DWTS).The “What’s Next Sweepstakes” runs through Nov. 25, 2018. No purchase is necessary. For official rules, including full details, and to enter, visit http://www.WinWhatsNext.com.

142 Strategic Quitting with Lynn Marie Morski

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On the show today we talk about strategic quitting as well as:

1) How to know when to quit vs. persevere
2) How to overcome internal fears and not label yourself as a failure when quitting
3) How to prepare for a successful quit

My guest today is Lynn Marie Morski, MD, Esq., a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and…lifelong quitter. As the Founder of Quitting By Design, Lynn Marie is on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting. Since her first big quit at the age of 21, Lynn Marie discovered the power of quitting to inform your life’s true purpose and path. Her new book, “Quitting by Design,” was released in September 2018.

 

141 Finding Your Voice in Your Own Family and Community with Amy Whitfield

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On the show today, I interview Amy Whitfield, Executive Director of the Domestic Violence Resource Center (DVRC, Inc.) and we talk about:
gender equality
power/control
sexual harrassment/metoo movement
toxic masculinity

Amy joined the DVRC, Inc. team in August 2017 and has been excited to come back to work in anti-violence. Amy’s career over the past 19 years in various non-profit fields has always given her the opportunity to be an advocate for women and communities of color fighting for equity. Amy graduated with her Masters in Social Work from the University of Maine and has since worked in numerous fields including: anti-sexual violence, substance abuse treatment, teen pregnancy and parenting, leadership mentoring, community organizing and non-profit program development.

Books Amy is reading:
The Tao of Leadership
Radical Acceptance

The United State of Women Summit is convening communities across the country and equipping women with the tools they need to keep fighting for gender equity. And we’re coming to New Mexico next! Join us at the Galvanize Program in Albuquerque on December 1st for a day of connecting with local allies, learning about the work being done in New Mexico and across the country, and training breakouts based on how you want to make an impact, including: Advocacy and Organizing, Leadership, and Entrepreneurship.

The day begins with a high-energy mainstage session where participants will hear from local and national leaders and includes and attendees will be able to network with organizations and individuals making an impact in different areas of gender equality.

Giovanna’s Post-election Tips:
What can you do post-election to stay involved, make an impact and create change?

  1. ACCEPT where we are, and decide to work with what we’ve got.
  2. ACCOUNTABILITY Hold new elected officials accountable – Hold your newly elected officials accountable – they will be moving into transitioning into their new office in Nov/Dec. Make sure they hear from you as they are making their plans for appointments and hiring. Some transition teams rely on experts to guide the planning for taking office.
  3. VISIBLE Be visible, be heard and take up space. If you helped a candidate and she won, ask her to appoint you to a policy committee or task force. Look at a new or unlikely committee to join – bring your unique viewpoint to a topic you wouldn’t normally weigh in on.
  4. VOLUNTEER Find an organization that is leading the change you want to see on a particular topic and join them. Is it animal rights? Domestic violence and sexual harassment? The environment or issues related to small business? Serve as a volunteer, on a committee or on the board.
  5. INVITE Bring others along with you – is there an inauguration celebration you ‘ve been invited to? Ask other women to go with you. Expose them to what you now have access to.
  6. INTEGRATE How do I do all this you ask? I know it’s a lot. If you think about integrating your voice, your presence, on the topics you care about, you can create a committee at work, you can volunteer with your kids as a family activity – it doesn’t have to always be separate, another thing to do on the list. Think of integration and it will be smoother and more fun!

——————————–

December 1, 2018 United State of Women Event in New Mexico:

The United State of Women (USOW) is a national organization who sees the need for a different America where all women thrive — and wants to work collectively to achieve it. USOW seeks to amplify the work of organizations and individuals at the forefront of the fight for women’s equality by providing tools, access, and connections to help women further step into their power and break down barriers.

After the first United State of Women National Summit in 2016, participants made it clear they wanted to keep learning and connecting, and they wanted to do it in their own local communities. The Galvanize Program brings women and girls together to tackle our toughest challenges, together. And we’re coming to New Mexico next on December 1st! This year, we’re arming women with the tools and resources they need to keep organizing and fighting for gender equity, whether that’s through elected office, entrepreneurship, grassroots organizing, and everything in between. Attendees will receive in-depth and skills-based training developed by local and national partner organizations. Training tracks include:

  • Activism and Organizing in New Mexico
  • Entrepreneurship powered by BRAVA Investments
  • Leadership powered by Courtney A. Seard

Attendees will leave with the tools and knowledge to activate and mobilize locally and nationally and will hear from leaders in their communities who are working to increase gender equity in New Mexico and around the country, showing how women and girls can plug into action right away.

Get tickets

USOW has hosted previous Galvanize regional events in Chicago, IL, Columbus, OH, and Atlanta, GA in 2017 and Miami, FL in 2018 with additional events are slated later in the year including in Philadelphia, PA, as part of the United State of Women’s nationwide mobilization to spur women into action in our local communities. For additional details about the Galvanize New Mexico, including registration details, visit the Eventbrite page. MEDIA REGISTRATION: The plenary sessions of the Galvanize New Mexico in Albuquerque will be open to the press, and media interested in attending should email press@civicnation.org with the subject line “New Mexico – RSVP” to request credentials. Media registration will be confirmed in the coming weeks. THE UNITED STATE OF WOMEN: The United State of Women (USOW) is a national organization for any woman who sees that we need a different America for all women to survive and thrive — and wants to work collectively to achieve it. Launched in 2016 with a Summit co-hosted with the Obama Administration’s White House Council on Women and Girls, the United State of Women has hosted multiple regional convenings across the country and recently organized the second United State of Women Summit, bringing together 7,500 women and allies in support of gender equality. USOW serves as a convener, connector, and amplifier bringing women together across background and beliefs to engage and inspire each other. USOW amplifies the work of organizations and individuals at the forefront of the fight for women’s equality, and provides tools, access and connections that help women see and step into their power to break down the barriers that hold women back.

The United State of Women (USOW) is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization.

For more information on the United State of Women’s Galvanize Program, visit unitedstateofwomen.org/galvanize and follow @USOWomen.

140 Your Role in Advocacy with Lucy Martinez Sullivan

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What is your role in advocacy? I ask this question one week before the mid-term elections in the U.S.  Many of us have been reflecting on our role in advocacy, public policy and the electoral process and have already voted or will vote on November 6th. The notion that we are too busy or that we want to remain positive so we can’t get involved in advocacy or politics is a self-protective mechanism that doesn’t actually work. By amplifying our voice through our actions, we CAN make a difference.

On the show today I will talk to Lucy Sullivan about her role in advocating for women’s and mom’s rights to breastfeed their babies.

What we talk about on the show today:
Policies that impact the first 1000 days of a baby’s life
What you can do to support breastfeeding moms
How to begin to shift the culture around breastfeeding (ie. how do we address the sexualization of women’s bodies?)
New dietary guidelines being developed for children under two and pregnant moms

Guest’s bio:
Lucy Martinez Sullivan is Executive Director of 1,000 Days, a leading advocacy organization working in the U.S. and around the world to improve maternal and young child nutrition particularly during the critical 1,000 day window of opportunity between a woman’s pregnancy and a child’s 2nd birthday. Prior to joining 1,000 Days, Lucy served as Executive Director at CCS, a philanthropic advisory firm, working with clients such as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Action Against Hunger and the UN Foundation. Lucy worked as a marketing and finance executive for Fortune 500 companies such as Merrill Lynch and Loréal. She holds an M.B.A. from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, and a B.A. with distinction from the University of Florida. She resides in Washington D.C. with her husband and two young daughters.

139 How to Be in the World with Bernadette Seacrest

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Life is messy, isn’t it? On the Well Woman Show I interview women about their messy, fabulous lives. These women are making a profound impact in the world. A Well Woman is not someone who is perfectly fit, healthy and successful (though we are all those things at different times). Instead, a Well Woman is someone who is showing up, “learning how to be in the world” and intentional about living her best life, WHATEVER that is for her.

This week on the show I talk to Bernadette Seacrest about how she shows up in the world, about quitting and restarting creative projects, the awakening that led to her getting sober and how she found her “thing” at age 35. We also hear a clip from her latest album, Lust & Madness.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
The awakening that led Bernadette to getting sober
Which book changed Bernadette’s life
What one thing contributes to being a successful person

Links mentioned on show:
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Well Woman Show with Julia Cameron:  www.wellwomanlife.com/018show
Lust & Madness album, released 2016

Book she’s reading:
Of Human Bondage https://www.amazon.com/Human-Bondage-Bantam-Classics/dp/055321392X

Quote:
“I ask for grace to be able to handle whatever comes up” -Bernadette Seacrest

 

Full bio:

Bernadette’s creative path reads like the back story to a mid-century Hollywood heroine: Ballerina, Fashionista, Hell Kitten, Sultry Chanteuse.

She spent her childhood in California and New York where she studied classical dance with the renowned Los Angeles Ballet, San Francisco Ballet and American Ballet Theatre until an injury drove her love of drag and pageantry Northeast and underground. Coming of age amidst the gutter glam and jewel toned ink of New York and L.A.’s early 80s street punk scene the ballerina scraped by as a sometimes fetish model, makeup artist and clothing designer for the iconic punk rock apparel company Nana.

In 1993 Bernadette declared Albuquerque, NM home and in 2001 made her musical debut with one of the hottest roots rockabilly bands in the Southwest, the Long Goners. Working closely with Pat Bova, the band’s brilliant singer-songwriter, she belted out rebellious anthems in the style of Janis Martin and Wanda Jackson. Bernadette, with the Long Goners, shared the stage with Hank Williams III, Jonathan Richman, Wayne “The Train” Hancock, The Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash, Rockin’ Lloydd Tripp, Al Foul and the Shakes, Tom Walbank and Spo-dee-odee.

2003 found the burgeoning chanteuse ready to wrap her voice around the more complex musical terrain of jazz. She collaborated with acclaimed bassist and composer David Parlato for a year before forming a new band – Bernadette Seacrest and her Yes Men- with bass player/songwriter extraordinaire Michael Grimes. The combo’s first album “No More Music by the Suckers” was released in 2004 and features desire drenched jazz standards as well as original songs by Grimes and former bandmate Pat Bova. Swing City Magazine wrote that the album was “… not an attempt for a one time rockabilly kitten to break into the modern day jazz scene but an attempt to break the mold, an endeavor she unconsciously accomplishes.” Their second album, “Live in Santa Fe” was released in 2005 and magically captures the smoke filled acoustics of a sold out live performance. Bernadette toured extensively with her Yes Men, playing to packed audiences across the U.S. and France. She and the boys have been featured on NPR and shared the stage with: Samarabalouf, Mat Firehair & the Imperators of Kool, El Senor Igor, Devil Doll and The Glenn Koster Trio.

In 2006 Bernadette followed her heart to Atlanta where she put together a new project – Bernadette Seacrest and her Provocateurs – with guitarist/songwriter par excellence, Charles Williams and bad-ass bassist Kris Dale. A unique group, with a lean sparseness distinguishing and defining their sound as one guitar, one bass, and a voice. Together they sow a cross-pollination of that which some call jazz, others may call blues, and still others may perceive as swing noire. In late 2009 the trio released their debut album “The Filthy South Sessions” to critical acclaim. A collection of songs penned by Williams that range from the All Mighty’s drinking habits to an epic late night lament inside a diner at the end of the world. The tunes infuse Ms. Seacrest’s signature dark vintage sound with a Deep South hue. With new record in hand Bernadette and her boys continued to tour extensively in France…..

In between her European tours, Bernadette can often be found holding court within the infamous Atlanta nightspot – Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room and Ping Pong Emporium – which seems to have emerged as a pre-ordained vehicle for the unique experience that only Bernadette can deliver. Former trio disbanded, Bernadette’s allure continues to foster her own constellation of talented friends as Atlanta’s local heavy hitters appear regularly in the audience and on stage. Francine Reed steps up for a duet, Big Mike Geier drops in to play the snare, and of course Kris Dale and R.L. Martin are always nearby – guitar and bass at the ready. Her willing subjects recoil, laugh and blush as she relentlessly exorcises the demons of doubt, inhibition and lowered expectations carried with us from the daily grind. Fans smile knowingly while newcomers are buffeted through the sets, each new effort seeming to top the last. When it’s all over they carry their experiences home in a beguiled state of wonder. Something has been restored and reclaimed. It’s authentic…. it’s intimate….. and we are blessedly reminded of how music can make us feel when we’re lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time.

138: How to Say No so You Can Say Yes with Samantha Michelle

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Check out our quiz to find out where you are in the Well Woman Life Cycle!

Hailed by Flaunt Magazine as one half of “London’s most exciting DJ duo,” international DJ/actress/filmmaker, Samantha Michelle makes her way back to the US with her hugely popular and spirited DJ sets that can only be described as distinctly vintage, upbeat and classical, as she fuses familiar tunes with rare records moving swiftly between the genres of rhythm and blues, ska, reggae, soul, and funk.

Samantha Michelle’s career as a DJ kicked off in 2012 one fateful evening at the Groucho Club in London where for the next five years she ran residencies around Soho and East London, working extensively within the members club circuit (Groucho Club, Soho House, 5 Hereford St., Lights of Soho, Devonshire Club, The Kings Head), and headlined at some of the world’s largest music festivals including Glastonbury, The Secret Garden Party and The Toronto International Film Festival, and hosted her own music and culture radio show “The Smoking Guns Sessions” on Soho Radio alongside her fellow soul-music-loving co- host Iraina Mancini, where they would share their music expertise and interview accomplished guests from the music, art, journalism, fashion and entertainment industries.

Originally from Toronto, Canada, Samantha moved to New York City at the age of 17. Directed by her love of music, she began her tour of nightlife and her passion for cinema and storytelling, and later graduated from NYU and Oxford University where she studied dramatic literature, politics, and art. She was the first student at NYU to pursue a self-designed major at the College of Arts & Science, studying “The Role of Religion in The Rhetoric of US Foreign Policy” with minors in Dramatic Literature and Studio Art. She has also studied European history, art history, sociology and drama at Herford College, Oxford University. After graduating in 2011, she moved to Los Angeles where she began her career as an actress, and has worked internationally on feature films including Atom Egoyan’s The Captive and Matthew Johnson’s Operation Avalanche, as well as, network TV programs such as Showcase’s Lost Girl and Guillermo Del Toro’s The Strain. She has starred in a number of theatre productions, from the classics, Strindberg and Ibsen to new writing.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
1. An appreciation for 60s soul, rhythm and blues, rock and roll music.
2. An understanding of how one can take their negative or challenging life experiences and transmute those experiences into projects and engagements that are fundamentally positive, creative and collaborative.
3.The limitlessness of one’s creative pursuits and the value in exploring a diversity of modes of creative expression.