Posts Tagged ‘self sabotage’

019 Curiosity Instead of Judgment: Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behavior with Anna Sperlich

Have you ever found yourself on the brink of success or just about the take a leap into a new career or life endeavor, and something happens to sabotage the whole thing? What’s more, have you ever found that the undoing was your own fault? This tendency to self-sabotage on the brink of big success is not so uncommon.

According to Anna Sperlich, there is an evolutionary reason for this trend. When humans lived in a more primal age and fatal danger could be lurking around every corner, it made the most sense to do whatever possible to maintain status quo. Logically, our chances of staying safe were higher if we could simply maintain whatever it was we were currently doing, rather than trying something new and different. Also, it would have been best for us to act like those around us. If we did anything too unusual we may risk being rejected by our families and communities, and the safety they provided.

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Today, this translates to us getting an innate tug of apprehension at the idea of trying something new: we could fail! We could be shamed! We could be kicked out of our communities! Luckily, the threats we face today don’t have the deadly outcomes that they once were. However we are still held back by this instinctive fear of change, which leads us to to self-sabotage. Today I go into depth with Anna Sperlich about why we self-sabotage, what we can do to change this behavior, and how we can use curiosity rather than fear and judgment to direct our lives onto a successful, stress-free track!

What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

  • Why it is so important to surround yourself with supportive, motivational people, and how you can do this even if they aren’t physically around you
  • The first steps you can take to end your cycle of self sabotaging and find success and happiness
  • How you can end your judgment of yourself and the world around you to find greater self contentment
  • How you can end unhealthy habits in your life and forgive yourself for slip-ups

More About Anna

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Anna Sperlich is a registered addiction therapist, counselor, yoga instructor, eating disorder coach, empowerment coach, and inspirational speaker. She resides in Berlin, Germany where she lives with her partner and two young children.

Anna came to be in the field of coaching through her own experiences with disordered eating and anxiety. While has always been skilled at helping others to see their innate strengths, at times she has struggled to see her own worth. Through training and self-work, Anna now has a healthy, nonjudgmental way of viewing herself, the world, and the actions of those around her, which she shares with her clients as a tool to recovery.

While Anna often works with women with disordered eating, an overriding theme of her work is eradicating the compulsion to self-sabotage. “Our success is only limited by our self worth,” she explains. We must learn to love ourselves, and unlearn the detrimental self-criticism so many of us have been trained to do, if we want to achieve success and happiness. Anna suggests that to start we ought to “come from a place of curiosity rather than judgment” when looking at both our environment and ourselves.

One of the biggest tools Anna advocates for her clients is taking care of self. She explains that “we need to make sure that our own cups are full before we can pour out to others,” and she employs these words as a doctrine. Even if we have many roles to fill, we can’t meet any of them successfully unless we tend to our own needs first. Today Anna chooses not to focus on balance, but rather harmony, in her life.

Describe one personal habit that contributes to your well-being:

Binge watching motivational videos on Youtube.

What super power did you discover you had only to realize it was there all the time?

I help people to find their greatness.

What advice would you give to your 25 or 30 year old self?

You are good enough.

Check Out The Links Mentioned in This Episode!

www.AnnaSperlich.com

Thrive by Arianna Huffington

Get Rich, Lucky Bitch! by Denise Duffield Thomas

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017 Discover Your Worth with Kirsten Roberts

We’ve all heard it before: we need to put our own needs first before we care for those around us. Easier said than done! For many of us, putting our own needs first seems implausible. There are children to be fed, a house to clean, work assignments to finish. All of these things need to be done and they all need to be done now. We know that our personal care has to fit in there somewhere, but where?

According to Kirsten Roberts, when you “sacrifice yourself, you’re never going to be the best person you can be for the ones you love.” Perhaps if we change our perception about our personal needs then we will begin to put ourselves first. Although this is a roundabout way of thinking about self-care, for some women this may be the best way to get them to actually begin prioritizing themselves.

As a former do-all-er, Kirsten understands that sometimes it’s a perspective shift that gets a woman to change her behavior and discover the joy she’s been missing. In today’s episode I speak with Kirsten Roberts, founder of Radical Life, a program that helps women “build their wildly fulfilling business, learn the art of crazy self-love and live with uproarious laughter every day.”  Kirsten was named one of Smart Company’s Top 50 Female Entrepreneurs in Australia, was CEO and co-owner of the franchised food group Spudbar and built a consulting arm for the accounting firm Crowe Horwarth where she signed $7m worth of contracts in the first two years of operation. Today I talk with Kirsten about self-love, finding laughter everyday, and breaking free from the anxiety cycle.

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What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

  • How you can begin to put your needs first without feeling guilty and do so in a way that benefits those around you
  • Some easy steps you can take to begin incorporating self-love into your daily routine
  • How to adjust your language so you’re learning to love yourself into healthy behavior rather than shame yourself out of unhealthy habits

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More About Kirsten

Kirsten comes from a history of business success. She’s always been the type to succeed in whatever she put her mind to, but after reaching her professional goals she found herself in a tough spot. She wasn’t happy, she was constantly comparing herself to others, and she didn’t know what to do next.

After a series of particularly difficult events, Kirsten sought help from a life coach. She would be the first to tell you that even those who seem to have everything together can benefit from some guidance and mentorship. She realized that she was living in a constant state of anxiety, “living life braced” for the next failure or meltdown and never simply appreciating day-to-day joys. Kirsten decided to adjust her perception of life, beginning with small steps such as daily affirmations, to bigger ones such as health and diet changes.

While Kirsten seeks to each day create “uproarious laughter” in her life, she also acknowledges the importance of accepting the dark periods in our lives. If you think of joy as a candle, “we can’t see the gorgeous flicker and the warmth of the candle unless there’s a dark contrast.” Rather than drown out our emotions with distractions; TV, alcohol, food; she recommends we welcome the dark times, take the lessons they give us, and move on when the time is right. After you are out of the darkness, it will be hard not to be teeming with wild fulfillment!

Describe one personal habit that contributes to your well-being:

Getting up early and meditating every morning.

What super power did you discover you had only to realize it was there all the time?

That I can inspire women.

What advice would you give to your 25 or 30 year old self?

The journey creates who you are, so don’t beat yourself up on the journey.

Check Out The Links Mentioned in This Episode!

The Radical Life Project

Chapter One (the book) by Daniel Flynn

Louise Hay: Mirror Mirror on The Wall Exercise

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