Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

065 How to Use Your Desires and Values to Make Decisions with Sunit Suchdev

When we’re embarking on a new project in our life: a business venture, a new relationship, children, everyone seems to have advice. At first, this seems like a blessing. There’s so much knowledge to be had, right next door! However, sometimes this advice can become overwhelming. Perhaps the person offering their wisdom is coming from a place of regretting their own experience, so their advice is more relevent to them and not necessarily useful for you. While usually well intentioned, sometimes these words will leave you feeling unprepared, overwhelmed, and insecure. According ot Modern Mommy Prepschool founder Sunit Suchdev, the best guide in leading you to make the right decisions is your own internal sense of values.

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My guest today is Sunit Suchdev. Sunit is the founder Modern Twin Mom and Modern Mommy Prepschool. Modern Twin Mom is a parenting blog, providing advice to new moms about how to have balance in parenting and life and how to prepare for parenthood. Modern Mommy Prepschool is a mother prep course, aimed at helping new moms to prepare for parenthood in the modern world. In this episode Sunit and I talk about the importance of having curiousity rather than taking everything as truth when it comes to advice, why it’s important to prepare ahead of time when you’re thinking about having children or making decisions about any huge life change, and how your internal values are probably the best guide you can find.

Get my FREE handout “The 5 Pillars Checklist”!

What You’ll Discover in This Episode

  • Sunit’s “Five Pillars” checklist to help you prepare for any new endevour
  • How you can handle situations in which people are offering unsolicited advice
  • What you can do when you are feeling overwhelmed, under-qualified, and uncertain of yourself

More About Sunit

Finding out about a pregnancy can be a very exciting event, but it can also feel scary. If you’ve never had a child before, it may seem that there are no models to look to, or too much advice that you are overwhelmed. Sunit suggests you start close to home. “Look around you,” she says, “you have tons of moms around you telling you what they’re struggling with or having success with.”

As a mother of twins, Sunit understands the common response when people see a round belly. Everyone wants to give their two cents. Sunit recommends expecting mothers “stay away from advice, but be very generous with your curiosity.” Look at the family dynamics that you admire and recognize what the members of the family do to create that structure.

Sunit mirrors this mentality in her mother coaching business: Modern Mommy Prepschool. By its nature, new or expecting mothers must seek her out to get direction and help in preparing for motherhood. And Sunit’s main message turns the light back to them; “use your own hopes and desires and values to guide the decisions you make.” Her biggest advice to uncertain new mothers is to remind them that their own internal sense of values and and intentions are their best guide. They are stronger and more prepared than they think.

Check Out the Links Mentioned in This Episode!

ModernTwinMom.com

ModernMommyPrepSchool.com

DotCom Secrets by Russell Brunson

Raising Happiness by Christine Carter Ph.D.

Get my FREE handout “The 5 Pillars Checklist”!

017 Discover Your Worth with Kirsten Roberts

We’ve all heard it before: we need to put our own needs first before we care for those around us. Easier said than done! For many of us, putting our own needs first seems implausible. There are children to be fed, a house to clean, work assignments to finish. All of these things need to be done and they all need to be done now. We know that our personal care has to fit in there somewhere, but where?

According to Kirsten Roberts, when you “sacrifice yourself, you’re never going to be the best person you can be for the ones you love.” Perhaps if we change our perception about our personal needs then we will begin to put ourselves first. Although this is a roundabout way of thinking about self-care, for some women this may be the best way to get them to actually begin prioritizing themselves.

As a former do-all-er, Kirsten understands that sometimes it’s a perspective shift that gets a woman to change her behavior and discover the joy she’s been missing. In today’s episode I speak with Kirsten Roberts, founder of Radical Life, a program that helps women “build their wildly fulfilling business, learn the art of crazy self-love and live with uproarious laughter every day.”  Kirsten was named one of Smart Company’s Top 50 Female Entrepreneurs in Australia, was CEO and co-owner of the franchised food group Spudbar and built a consulting arm for the accounting firm Crowe Horwarth where she signed $7m worth of contracts in the first two years of operation. Today I talk with Kirsten about self-love, finding laughter everyday, and breaking free from the anxiety cycle.

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What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

  • How you can begin to put your needs first without feeling guilty and do so in a way that benefits those around you
  • Some easy steps you can take to begin incorporating self-love into your daily routine
  • How to adjust your language so you’re learning to love yourself into healthy behavior rather than shame yourself out of unhealthy habits

Get the FREE “Clearing Your Mind of The I Can’ts” worksheet

More About Kirsten

Kirsten comes from a history of business success. She’s always been the type to succeed in whatever she put her mind to, but after reaching her professional goals she found herself in a tough spot. She wasn’t happy, she was constantly comparing herself to others, and she didn’t know what to do next.

After a series of particularly difficult events, Kirsten sought help from a life coach. She would be the first to tell you that even those who seem to have everything together can benefit from some guidance and mentorship. She realized that she was living in a constant state of anxiety, “living life braced” for the next failure or meltdown and never simply appreciating day-to-day joys. Kirsten decided to adjust her perception of life, beginning with small steps such as daily affirmations, to bigger ones such as health and diet changes.

While Kirsten seeks to each day create “uproarious laughter” in her life, she also acknowledges the importance of accepting the dark periods in our lives. If you think of joy as a candle, “we can’t see the gorgeous flicker and the warmth of the candle unless there’s a dark contrast.” Rather than drown out our emotions with distractions; TV, alcohol, food; she recommends we welcome the dark times, take the lessons they give us, and move on when the time is right. After you are out of the darkness, it will be hard not to be teeming with wild fulfillment!

Describe one personal habit that contributes to your well-being:

Getting up early and meditating every morning.

What super power did you discover you had only to realize it was there all the time?

That I can inspire women.

What advice would you give to your 25 or 30 year old self?

The journey creates who you are, so don’t beat yourself up on the journey.

Check Out The Links Mentioned in This Episode!

The Radical Life Project

Chapter One (the book) by Daniel Flynn

Louise Hay: Mirror Mirror on The Wall Exercise

Get the FREE “Clearing Your Mind of The I Can’ts” worksheet

012: Perfectionism As Distraction from Growth with Mary Kathryn Johnson

Perfectionism As Distraction from Growth

Many of us pride ourselves in our ability to overcome the obstacles life throws our way and succeed in our given fields. We seek out new challenges and love to use our skills to overcome them. Sometimes, though, we can become a bit obsessive in our drive for success, and it becomes a drive for perfection. Our perfectionism then becomes a distraction from true personal growth. For Mommy Loves founder Mary Kathryn Johnson it took a serious reality check, breaking both of her legs while eight months pregnant and caring for a toddler, that lead to her realization that she needed to slow down.

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Mary Kathryn is founder and owner of Mommy Loves, the first ever online novelty maternity clothing line, parenting blogger, podcast host, and author of Say Bump and Take a Left: How I Birthed a Baby and a Business After a Huge Bump in the Road. Today I speak with Mary Kathryn about the accident that forced her to slow down, the trials of having to give up some independence, and how the experience gave her a new sense of self and the drive to start a thriving business. What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

  • Tips and tools for using your unique skill set to grow your business
  • How to use your parenting tools to further your business, and your business-running knowledge to strengthen your parenting skills
  • Using adaptability to see the positive and advantage in any situation

More About Mary Kathryn

Get my FREE “Power Parents Academy checklist” now!

Mary Kathryn has always been a type-A. Following graduation from UC Berkeley she got a job with Jenny Craig, and within three months was promoted to a manager position. That has been a common theme in her life: she seeks to do the best and be at the highest position she can achieve. However, when it came to having children, there was no formula to follow. Especially for Mary Kathryn, who at eight months pregnant had a serious fall that lead to two broken legs and three months of dependence on others. This was a very dark time for her, as she was used to being very independent.

Mary Kathryn recalls the day that she walked out of the hospitals, casts removed, as one of the best in her life. It was at that time that Mary Kathryn realized that perfectionism wasn’t her superpower; adaptability was, and still is. She had experienced a very dark time and came out feeling like if she could get through that, she could get through anything.

Becoming pregnant had proved to have its trials as well, which was another challenge for the perfectionist in Mary Kathryn. When her and her husband did become pregnant, she made a shirt as a celebration. She printed a report card onto a T-shirt that said ‘Pregnancy 101: A+.’ The shirt was a personal celebration for her, but she found that when she wore it she had a huge response from people that saw her. After Mary Kathryn’s recovery from her accident that t-shirt stuck in her mind. With her newfound confidence, she saw the T-shirt as a calling: this would be her business venture, Mommy Loves.

Thirteen years and a thriving business later, Mary Kathryn is still at it with Mommy Loves. She has also added additional projects to her plate, and now has a podcast and coaches parent entrepreneurs. She has developed a system to help parents start up their businesses using parenting as a guideline. Those skills necessary to care for a newborn are transferrable to the beginning months of starting a business, and the keys to caring for a toddler are transferable to a young business venture. Today Mary Kathryn remembers every day to slow down and use her adaptability to succeed.

Describe one personal habit that contributes to your well-being:

My morning routine.

What super power did you discover you had only to realize it was there all the time?

My adaptability.

What advice would you give to your 25 or 30 year old self?

Chill.

Get my FREE “Power Parents Academy checklist” now!

Check Out The Links Mentioned in This Episode!

Mommy Loves

Mary Kathryn Johnson’s Website

Say Bump and Take a Left: How I Birthed a Baby and a Business After a Huge Bump in the Road

004: Mindful Meditation: From Doing to Being with Michelle DuVal

Do you ever find yourself at home after a long day of work, trying to tend to self-care, and realize that in your head you are still at the office? Or you’ll be with your children and family, thinking about your next to-do list or ruminating on an argument from earlier in the day? For better or worse, we live in an incredibly busy, action-focused world. As a result we’ve grown to think that constant activity is the best way to function. What’s more, we essentially don’t know how to turn off our mind from ‘doing.’ Even in our down time our minds haven’t ‘turned off.’

According to mindfulness meditation instructor Michelle DuVal, how we relate to our lives and those around us is directly dependent on the state of our mind. An unhealthy diet and lack of exercise leads to bad health and a body that doesn’t function at 100%; shouldn’t the same be true for the health and efficiency of the mind? While we put serious attention on our physical wellbeing; our health, our hygiene, our fitness; we often forget about out the health of the mind. By dedicating care to the state of our mind, Michelle explains, we can live fuller, more present lives. Join me in my conversation with Michelle as she explains what mindfulness is, why it is important, and how anyone and everyone can incorporate it into his or her life.

In This Episode You’ll Discover:

– The differences and definitions of mindfulness and meditation

– How you can include this practice in your day-to-day activities, such as in the grocery store or at the dinner table

– The first steps to including mindfulness in your life, each day

– How to get your kids to meditate and how mindfulness can enhance your ability to appreciate the time you have with your family and loved ones

Get my FREE Mini Meditations now!What do we mean when we say mindfulness and being present? In the average day the majority of our thinking is spent rehashing the past or planning and focusing on the future; very rarely are we actually present, moment-by-moment. Our mind can only be in one place at a time, so if we are focusing on the past or the future we are not truly aware of the present. Why is this important? Because it allows you to handle every moment as it comes, instead of reacting based on past experiences or expectations. Mindfulness meditation can improve resiliency and mental focus and give you the tools to thoughtful instead of reactive throughout your day. While mindful meditation used to be met with raised brows, many studies have confirmed that this practice yields tangible, positive results. More About Michelle DuVal Michelle turned to mindfulness meditation after the stress of her nine-to-five job began to cause stress-related health issues. While she had always been encouraged to practice mindful meditation by her father, the founder of the Mindful Center, she was only able to find value in it through her own experiences with stress management. She quickly came to see the positive results of mindful meditation, and today she is the director of The Mindful Center. The mindfulness techniques that Michelle teaches lead to increased resiliency, decreased reactivity, mental focus maintenance throughout the day. I think anyone would gladly seek out those results, and Michelle has found that businesses and institutes have found these tools particularly useful. In addition to running trainings and workshops at The Mindful Center, Michelle provides onsite mindful trainings in clinical settings, such as hospitals, in corporate environments, and in schools. In all of these settings, stress and can pile up, and Michelle provides tools that individuals can use both in and out of the workplace. Today Michelle practices mindful meditation daily, in both a sitting practice and in her day-to-day life, such as at the grocery store or at the dinner table with her twin three-year-olds. She admits that balancing her various roles – mother, The Mindful Center director, and wife – is not easy, but her biggest self-care practice is, you guessed it, mindful meditation. She explains how she uses this practice to be present with her children and family, and how it gives her strength and energy to balance everything on her plate. In this Episode, Michelle and I discuss the basics of mindfulness meditation, how it improves her day-to-day life, and how you can start. She gives tips and advice applicable for newbie meditators and experts alike and shares her secrets for utilizing this tool in everyday settings, such as while doing her weekly shopping or when she’s overwhelmed as a business director or mother.

Check Out the Links Mentioned in this Episode!

Themindfulcenter.com

Mindfulness Program at UNM Center for Life

Mindfulness Meditation Programs at APS

Get my FREE Mini Meditations now!